Cindy is what you would call an Epitome of beauty, general edifice, total endowment and a lovely character to behold around you. Be you male or female. Asides an over average height which she didn’t have, she can be ascribed ‘The FULL PACKAGE’. Apart from the few "metres in longitude" (reminds me of geography), she makes sense, and "her head is there". While we were in Ibadan, the NYSC officials also took interest in her. They wanted her for keeps individually, so you could imagine the psychological and sometimes the verbal brawls between them all for a lady named CINDY. “CINDY OF LIFE”.
Sometime after leaving the compulsory youth service, I stumbled into Cindy this faithful day at KFC Ring Road Ibadan .for those of us who know Ibadan very well. By the way, it wasn’t far from where I stayed before. Sometimes when a bachelor can’t lay hands on food at home, he just strolls down or sometimes bike down to get the stomach satisfied. I had become a regular customer that almost all the attendants knew me. That was then though no more free money from government and besides as a corper then, ZENITH Bank gave my profile a boost. Back then, being the Very Good Guy I was and still am, I was contemplating sending my RESUME to her so we could date. We used to talk back on camp and after camp, but I was so busy with BANK work, CDS activities which I was privileged to be the P.R.O. and Ican Lessons.
I was always busy from Sunday to Sunday!!! She was flowing along with me back then but as I stated earlier, I barely had her time, which I admit on my part as a weakness. I always was procrastinating about seeing her. Have you ever wanted something, and you kept on postponing it?, that was my situation back then. Recently I bumped into her and we caught up on old times. After some hours, the talk started getting deeper. I inquired about her relationship all these while, she opened her seductive lips to speak, while I had so many bells ringing through my mind as I focused solely on them as she spoke. As I gazed through her face and into her eyes, I noticed she was trying to hold back tears. Swiftly, I offered her my handkerchief; usually I always was with an extra. Then she began narrating;
I met this guy in IB, he was working in the same place where I served and still working,...Go on I said. It’s complicated she replied, but you know I won’t give up on you; I will not stop till you tell me what you wanted to say. I insisted and she let it all out, it turned out that there was someone else who the guy was dating before they met. That’s the guy’s EX-Girlfriend. But she didn’t really know the full story because as at that time they were not dating, and “sparks been flying”, it was all I ever wanted, it turned out that after a while, she came back begging him. He was torn in between. But for the fact that they had come a long way, “HE LEFT ME FOR HIS EX”. Then I asked about him, and she said; he has been transferred to Abuja. I pressed further, where does the Ex stay? Abuja, she answered me with a gloomy look. I didn’t even know when I exclaimed ‘CHAI,(LOBATAN)’.
I would not want to bore you with the full story; it could take days to conclude. Having analyzed this scenario inductively and deductively with a clear head, I would like to state here that CINDY’s case is not that she wasn't good enough, or that she wasn't beautiful or any man’s dream, but she was/is a victim of circumstance. The dude she was with still had affection and was still emotionally attached to his Ex. That is why, when some people break-up; they could take a whole year sometimes more than that before they start seeing someone else, depending on their emotional stronghold. Some of us can bear the shock for some months and move on, while others cannot.
What is the essence of passing your own problems to another, or transfer your disappointment to someone else? If you are not over someone, do you necessarily need to use someone as spare? I can wager on my money that if the dude came back, she might accept him, after being used and dumped. Why? It is because she too isn’t over him, there is still an attachment. I have not given the idea of office dating a thought though, because of its disadvantages.
As it stands now, CINDY is probably lonely, disappointed, dejected and filled with rage. She probably would be asking herself, Why Me?
From little experience, the next dude coming along will bear the whole consequence of her last break-up. Call it transferred aggression, the innocent guy wouldn’t know, it is an action she might carry out without even knowing she is doing, thereby subjecting another person who in turns subjects someone else to physical and emotional torture. It then becomes a vicious circle, transferring from one person to another. We may now begin to ask ourselves when we find out that we are victims of such, alas someone somewhere, somehow invented it and it started infecting others like a disease and by the time we realize everyone has caught the virus, and it might even become a norm.
The dude who left her is not absolved of blame too. What was he thinking? See what James Bond has led someone too. Maybe if I was the one I might have acted differently or might have done likewise? You never can tell. May we not be used as spare keys or substitute.
The most recent is the coinage of the term "Side-chic" more like a stand-by generating set, once the "Original" flops, a switch over o the next occurs. Well that's for the guys, ladies too have their own terminologies, I won't mind you educating me and other readers here.
As for me, it is obvious that "CINDY WAS ONLY KEEPING THAT DUDE BUSY" till the time was right to re-unite with 'the original idea'
Side-chic, Back-up plan, Substitute, Alternative, Generator, Plan B, C...Z, and every other terminologies used to describe this heart-chattering game. Considering Cindy's story, and many others (maybe personal experiences even) **Deep Sigh**
What do you think?
Where does Cindy, or any other victim like her, and even you and i, go from here?
We've got to be candid in our views.
N.B - THE NAME CINDY IS FICTIONAL. THE STORY IS NON-FICTION.
4 comments:
Its so unfortunate, she is only a victim of circumstance. Both sex imbibe in the act of alternative and keeping a plan B, someone to cussion your heart if the original leaves or offended you.
We literally don't go anywhere, just hope and pray that the wounds heal on time so we don't lose sight of who we are actually meant to be with. It could take years(in my case) could take months for some others, but one day surely, we would eventually move on gracefully.
Wow...dint expect dis 4rm a troublemaker lyk...LOL.dat said I LIKE IT...very realistic tale of an everyday gud gurl.it usually makes a gurl question hv character n morals.in most cases d gurl decides 2take it out nt only on d next guy but on d entire male population.nw a prescribed solution 2dis issue iznt available but i'l say everyone sud simply b honest.dont string pple along n dont toil wit pple's feelings.4give wu eva wrongs u n hv luv generally 4everyone
It's as hard as a rock (I mean, the bond established with one's EX, especially when you've been together for a reasonably long time).
I really can't point an accusing finger at anyone (Cindy, The dude nor His EX), you see, this "LOVE" of a thing *whew* "e get as e be!".
Yet I can lend some advice.
1) Don't get into a relationship with a person who hasn't gotten over his/her EX, you'll be the weeping partner in the end.
2)Always ask questions about how his/her previous relationships ended, and be wise enough to judge and scan for flimpsiness of excuses, for the strength of the reasons for break-up determines the degree of a posibility of a come-back.
3)Love Wisely, love casts spells on people(males n females alike). Even married dudes/ladies can still fall if they ever cross paths again with an EX they really loved but somehow couldn't get married to.
Omooba, make e no be say I too dey talk, let me rest my case at this junction.
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