When
we were younger, we were taught about domestic animals and wild animals, the
key word in both context here is ANIMAL. In my own little understanding that
ideology, an ANIMAL is an ANIMAL and will always be an ANIMAL.......
Domestic
Violence, also known as Domestic Abuse, Spousal Abuse, Battering, Family
Violence, Dating Abuse, and Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), is a pattern of
behavior which involves the abuse by one person against another in an intimate
relationship such as marriage, cohabitation, dating or within the family. It
can be experienced by persons in heterosexual or same-sex relationships. Forms
of domestic violence include physical, emotional, verbal, economic and sexual
abuse, which can range from subtle, coercive forms of abuse to violent physical
abuse that results in disfigurement or death. The World Health Organization
(WHO) reports that globally 38% of murders against women are committed by an
intimate partner.-- Source *Wikipedia*
Domestic
violence often occur because the perpetrator believes that abuse is acceptable.
This produces intergenerational cycles of abuse and cultural systems that
condone violence. Extreme forms of abuse include various forms of homicide,
including honor killings, dowry killings, religious marital law abuses and
violent assaults such as acid attacks. Awareness, perception, definition and
documentation of domestic violence differs widely from country to country, and
from era to era.
Often
there is a cycle of abuse during which tensions rise and an act of violence is
committed, followed by a period of reconciliation and calm. There are different
types of intimate partner violence, and the dynamics of the abuse can vary. In
some cases there is a sole abuser, where there may be times when the victim
acts in self-defense or retaliation. In other cases there may be mutual or
common couple violence where both partners engage in abusive or violent
behavior.
Individuals
may be trapped in domestic violent situations through isolation, power and
control, insufficient financial resources, fear and shame. As a result of
abuse, survivors may experience physical disabilities, chronic health problems,
mental illness, limited finances, and poor ability to create healthy
relationships. Victims may experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Children who live in a household with violence may continue the legacy of abuse
when they reach adulthood. Domestic violence often happens in the context of
forced and child marriage and extends beyond.
Alcohol
consumption and mental illness can be co-morbid with abuse, and present
additional challenges in eliminating domestic violence.
Management
of domestic violence could be implemented through medical services, law
enforcement, counseling, and other forms of prevention and intervention.
Important measures include lethality assessment to determine the extent to
which an abuser is likely to murder, and safety planning so that the victim
have tools and plans to protect themselves.
I
know the English is too LONG. I will assume we don't want story, so let's be
practical about it. When you hit someone just because you are stronger to in
order to instill superiority, you have abused the person. I know our lawyers
can shed more light on that. Now the effects can be damaging both emotional,
physical and psychological and it is sometimes "enslaving".
I
was watching a music video by Patoranking titled * Girlie O! * the original version, not the remix with Tiwa
Savage (Kudos to the Director for conceptualizing and delivering it). In the video,
a man slapped and beat up a lady for scanning/checking/picking up his phone, he
even chased her outside in the rain, and there was Patoranking; trying to
deliver her etc, but she went back to her molester or let's say, the man who
beats her up. I am sure Patoranking felt so bad in the video, that he had to do
the remix with Tiwa. This sort of violence is peculiar in our society and I am
sure most of it go unnoticed or should I say unpunished because it is perceived
as normal? It would have been nice to have the police come and arrest the man
in the video, maybe that would have sent a better message to those who dare
disrespect their man or woman with violence. I seriously feel some ladies don't
know there worth so they stays in an abusive relationship. "Have you LOST
your mind, or is this pure INSANITY, what happened to walking away?
This
is not peculiar to men alone, I know a friend who had an ex that beats him up
while they were in UNIBEN. If he says A, the girl will say B and follow it with
a slap, and turn his whole apartment upside down, leaving everything in total disarray,
only to return and repeat the scene again and again. As some of our friends
would put it back then, "It's payback time for you man", some argued
he used to beat up women too in the past. I guess Karma came back in the image
of a woman he loved but eventually, nobody taught him what to do after several
major beating that left him with scars, the love cleared from his brain. Yulk!,
he should have noticed the little things when they started out, like the
playful slaps on cheeks, abusive languages, something would have given him
hints that THE GIRL IS BRUCE LEE'S STUDENT in CHARLIE'S ANGEL DESIGN.
I
heard there's a new Domestic Violence Law in Lagos State that it states that if
you beat your wife, you will go to Jail. It is now an offense for any man to
hit his wife but I hope the law is vice versa because there are people like
that popular cartoon character called Jude in one of our national dailies.
According
to the deputy governor of Lagos State, Hon Joke Orelope-Adefulire, the Domestic
Violence Law is made not only to protect women who are most times the target of
violence in the home but also to safeguard the interest of men, children,
servants, maids and everyone who may be a victim of domestic violence.
In
case of man/woman abuse issues, it does not matter whether there's a valid
contracted marriage between the victim and the perpetrator of the act as long
as they are living together in a home setting.
Here's
what happens when there's a case of domestic violence.
1.
Remove the abuser from the home pending when the abuse is corrected
2.
Or remove the complainant from the residence and put in a protective home
3.
Provision of financial assistance by the state via the Office of the Public
Defender/Legal Aid Council to victims of abuse who maybe financially unable to
seek redress in court.
4.
The court can issue warrant of arrest and remand order
I
guess I might need to be more emphatic with this argument, just like a woman
once said it to me. "It is UNACCEPTABLE !!!! I repeat Domestic Violence
is UNACCEPTABLE".
WRITTEN BY PRINCE YEMI MIKE ODERINDE
EDITED BY ABIDEMI ODERINLO
