STOP Domestic Violence

When we were younger, we were taught about domestic animals and wild animals, the key word in both context here is ANIMAL. In my own little understanding that ideology, an ANIMAL is an ANIMAL and will always be an ANIMAL.......

Domestic Violence, also known as Domestic Abuse, Spousal Abuse, Battering, Family Violence, Dating Abuse, and Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), is a pattern of behavior which involves the abuse by one person against another in an intimate relationship such as marriage, cohabitation, dating or within the family. It can be experienced by persons in heterosexual or same-sex relationships. Forms of domestic violence include physical, emotional, verbal, economic and sexual abuse, which can range from subtle, coercive forms of abuse to violent physical abuse that results in disfigurement or death. The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that globally 38% of murders against women are committed by an intimate partner.-- Source *Wikipedia*

Domestic violence often occur because the perpetrator believes that abuse is acceptable. This produces intergenerational cycles of abuse and cultural systems that condone violence. Extreme forms of abuse include various forms of homicide, including honor killings, dowry killings, religious marital law abuses and violent assaults such as acid attacks. Awareness, perception, definition and documentation of domestic violence differs widely from country to country, and from era to era.

Often there is a cycle of abuse during which tensions rise and an act of violence is committed, followed by a period of reconciliation and calm. There are different types of intimate partner violence, and the dynamics of the abuse can vary. In some cases there is a sole abuser, where there may be times when the victim acts in self-defense or retaliation. In other cases there may be mutual or common couple violence where both partners engage in abusive or violent behavior.

Individuals may be trapped in domestic violent situations through isolation, power and control, insufficient financial resources, fear and shame. As a result of abuse, survivors may experience physical disabilities, chronic health problems, mental illness, limited finances, and poor ability to create healthy relationships. Victims may experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Children who live in a household with violence may continue the legacy of abuse when they reach adulthood. Domestic violence often happens in the context of forced and child marriage and extends beyond.

Alcohol consumption and mental illness can be co-morbid with abuse, and present additional challenges in eliminating domestic violence.

Management of domestic violence could be implemented through medical services, law enforcement, counseling, and other forms of prevention and intervention. Important measures include lethality assessment to determine the extent to which an abuser is likely to murder, and safety planning so that the victim have tools and plans to protect themselves.

I know the English is too LONG. I will assume we don't want story, so let's be practical about it. When you hit someone just because you are stronger to in order to instill superiority, you have abused the person. I know our lawyers can shed more light on that. Now the effects can be damaging both emotional, physical and psychological and it is sometimes "enslaving".  

I was watching a music video by Patoranking titled * Girlie O! *  the original version, not the remix with Tiwa Savage (Kudos to the Director for conceptualizing and delivering it). In the video, a man slapped and beat up a lady for scanning/checking/picking up his phone, he even chased her outside in the rain, and there was Patoranking; trying to deliver her etc, but she went back to her molester or let's say, the man who beats her up. I am sure Patoranking felt so bad in the video, that he had to do the remix with Tiwa. This sort of violence is peculiar in our society and I am sure most of it go unnoticed or should I say unpunished because it is perceived as normal? It would have been nice to have the police come and arrest the man in the video, maybe that would have sent a better message to those who dare disrespect their man or woman with violence. I seriously feel some ladies don't know there worth so they stays in an abusive relationship. "Have you LOST your mind, or is this pure INSANITY, what happened to walking away?

This is not peculiar to men alone, I know a friend who had an ex that beats him up while they were in UNIBEN. If he says A, the girl will say B and follow it with a slap, and turn his whole apartment upside down, leaving everything in total disarray, only to return and repeat the scene again and again. As some of our friends would put it back then, "It's payback time for you man", some argued he used to beat up women too in the past. I guess Karma came back in the image of a woman he loved but eventually, nobody taught him what to do after several major beating that left him with scars, the love cleared from his brain. Yulk!, he should have noticed the little things when they started out, like the playful slaps on cheeks, abusive languages, something would have given him hints that THE GIRL IS BRUCE LEE'S STUDENT in CHARLIE'S ANGEL DESIGN.

I heard there's a new Domestic Violence Law in Lagos State that it states that if you beat your wife, you will go to Jail. It is now an offense for any man to hit his wife but I hope the law is vice versa because there are people like that popular cartoon character called Jude in one of our national dailies.

According to the deputy governor of Lagos State, Hon Joke Orelope-Adefulire, the Domestic Violence Law is made not only to protect women who are most times the target of violence in the home but also to safeguard the interest of men, children, servants, maids and everyone who may be a victim of domestic violence.

In case of man/woman abuse issues, it does not matter whether there's a valid contracted marriage between the victim and the perpetrator of the act as long as they are living together in a home setting.

Here's what happens when there's a case of domestic violence.

1. Remove the abuser from the home pending when the abuse is corrected

2. Or remove the complainant from the residence and put in a protective home

3. Provision of financial assistance by the state via the Office of the Public Defender/Legal Aid Council to victims of abuse who maybe financially unable to seek redress in court.

4. The court can issue warrant of arrest and remand order

I guess I might need to be more emphatic with this argument, just like a woman once said it to me. "It is UNACCEPTABLE !!!! I repeat Domestic Violence is  UNACCEPTABLE".

WRITTEN BY PRINCE YEMI MIKE ODERINDE

EDITED BY ABIDEMI ODERINLO