The "FRIEND ZONE" refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the lovelorn person. One sign of being friend zoned is being told that they are "considering" the relationship, or if a friend needs to help by asking for them. Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship. This term also is heavily debated, especially by feminists, as its implications are thought to be sexist and objectifying. Some men who claim to be in the friend zone believe that they are entitled to a relationship by being kind or caring, thereby putting the blame on the recipient of these actions for not wanting a relationship. This behavior has made the concept of the friend zone charged with negative connotations, and anyone using the term are now often seen as expressing this form of entitlement and blame, even if they are in fact only expressing the undesirability of the situation.(Wikipedia).
Recently, A female friend put on her Personal Message on blackberry " The Best Person to Marry is your FRIEND". That caught my attention and being inquisitive, I probed further. You see, You people don't know what you want and you people usually put your friend whom you intend to marry or has deep feelings for you in a friend zone, I said. She laughed out Loud and replied; some friends outgrow that zone and They grow from being an ordinary friend to extra ordinary friend. Hmmn! EXTRA ORDINARY? I pray I have that patience, because its not in my dictionary for matters like this. I tried to probe Further but she declined saying I might use it as an Article and publish on the blog, see what blogspot has caused me, when am not linda Ikeji, neither am I Laila's blog. Anyway, she did inspire me to consult some 'Elders', do some Research and consult the 'ORACLES' of love. So if you are reading this, you know yourself, thank you for the little inspiration and am going to spit fire on it. I will say it as it is.
Oh no! You're in love. But the object of your affection thinks of you as more of a brother or sister than anything else. While it's notoriously hard to get out of the "friend zone", if you really want to escape, follow these little but Effective steps. Although, it might not work for some . But it is a good start.
1# Break the "nice guy" or "sweet girl" stereotype. Nah you nice pass! You are what the girls call MUGU or What the guys call NEEDY Most guys and girls who find themselves in the "friend zone" are usually susceptible to many of the characteristics of the "nice guy" or "sweet girl" stereotype. This means pretty much someone who wants to avoid making other people uncomfortable at any cost, but does so usually at their own expense by not communicating their own needs. Where you're romantically attracted to someone, but you don't want to "pressure" them into a relationship, or "ruin" the friendship by expressing your interest or making a move, you'll end up holding back in a variety of ways. The trouble is, when you make other people's feelings more important than your own (instead of finding that happy balance), you're unconsciously communicating to people that your own feelings don't matter. This may make it seem like you have low self-worth, which is the opposite of confidence.
While some people are attracted to ever agreeable mates, the person who assigned you to the "friend zone" probably is not. If nothing else, inaction tells the other person that you're simply not interested (chances are, even if they never felt attracted to you, they wondered about your intentions). MOVE ON......and don't be friends with the next person you fall for. #Oracle#
2# Stop being needy. One of the reasons you might be interested in this person more than they are into you is because you are giving off signals that you really want to be in a relationship! You might be coming off as a little desperate, which is quite the attraction killer. You might be rushing things emotionally and maybe physically, you might also be placing this person on a pedestal, because you're so caught up in the idea of the relationship, that you're quick to assume this person is "perfect".
Examine your own neediness. In one word, relax. There will always be many more encounters besides this one, "Many fishes in the river" so stop treating it like the last one you'll ever have. Also, don't force yourself to reveal your hopes for intimacy, let your actions display your confidence and speak for itself.
3# Think about the difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship. If you think a romantic relationship should just be a great friendship with physical intimacy thrown into the mix, then it's understandable to look for common ground first, and wait for the physical attraction to kick in sooner or later. Be CAREFUL, not everyone sees relationships this way. Some people expect a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" to play a particular role in their lives in order for physical attraction to emerge. The person who you want to be more than friends with probably makes a bigger distinction between "friend" and "romantic partner" than you do. Realize that many people (both male and female) expect to be courted in some way. And many psychological issues play out in the relationship arena that don't ever arise in friendships. Some people, for example, look for a romantic partner who can play more of a parental role than a friend would.
Figure out what the person you're pining for wants in a boyfriend or girlfriend. Then decide whether you want to be that for them.
Note that some people are attracted to toxic relationships. If your love interests keeps getting involved with people who treat them badly, despite your advice, you might just have to accept that they're working through some issues. You could spend your entire life waiting for them to "see the light" or you could move on and find someone who actually (through their actions, not their words) wants a healthy relationship.
4# Break the touch barrier. I said this earlier in "Ten Commandments of Sexiness " on the blog . For many people, a big distinction between "friendship" and "relationship" is the way they touch. There are platonic ways to touch someone, and romantic ways, and the boundary is different for different people. But if you're terrified of touching someone the wrong way, to the extent that you hesitate and never touch them first, your intentions may be good but your "touch paralysis" isn't helping you at all in the romantic department. Take a few little "touch risks". Reach for their hands, hair, shoulders, ankles, and back. Don't just always wait for them to do it first. If they don't like it, they'll definitely let you know. But touching someone communicates to them that you find them attractive, and also that you're reasonably confident. Both of these things can make someone feel more attracted to you. As for Me, if I like Someone, I will Touch , I will Whisper, I will Hold, I will Touch, I will Touch, I will Touch and Touch.
Note that some people are very affectionate with their friends; the person you're interested in might be all about cuddling with you, and think nothing more of it than friendliness, while you feel like you're getting mixed signals. At some point the person you are interested in needs to give out or give in. If they don't, MOVE ON.... Am speaking from experience, MOVE ON...you will find out its not BIG DEAL when you use your head to think, not your heart. Later on, Thank me with a Return Ticket to "The Bahamas" *winks*.
5# Realize that you're "tying up" your feelings by staying friends with someone who isn't romantically interested in you. In the instance where you've already followed the previous steps and you've left your pushover habits behind, you've stepped up the role that he or she is looking for in a relationship, and you've crossed the touch barrier, but this person still wants to be "just friends", you'll need to make some hard decisions. Maybe they're simply not attracted to you, for reasons you'll never know. But you still have feelings for them. Is it wise to continue spending time with them? I say NO!
Consider that it'll be difficult to develop feelings for someone else if your feelings for this person are fueled every time you hang out. You'll struggle with feelings of jealousy and frustration when that person dates. Consider that even if you do manage to develop feelings for someone else, your heart might always be torn and confused, and it'll be hard to give your new flame your undivided affection.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to take the friendship down to the level of acquaintance. The person might feel offended, perhaps it will seem as if you don't value them as just a friend, but remember (and explain to them if necessary) that you can't control how you feel, just like they can't control how they feel,I once was MONKEYING (Liked) for this babe while I was serving, she liked me too because she did a background search on me. But I was dulling then. maybe I was forming too busy or actually I was busy. But at the end, it didn't work out and she had a new dude. When I came back to my senses, it was late. I tried all I could but it wasn't going to be. So I sidelined her and she didn't bother also. Then one faithful day we crossed path. She said ' Yemi you are still my Firend' and I fired back.Friend Bawo, Mi O Raiye Friend Zone' meaning 'Which Friend? I don't have time for Such' we can talk but only once in a blue moon or when its necessary. As long as I came to you and it didn't work out, we are not friends. We are better off as ACQUAINTANCE. I choose whom I want to become friends with. Am a little Blunt or Harsh right? But that's me. Take Me as I am, like WYCLEF said !
Finally, You need to make room in your life and heart for someone who feels about you the way you feel about them. You remember Mario's hit song? Baby, You got what I need, but you say am just a FRIEND ! Girl you say am Just A FRIEND..... *Drops Microphone*
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Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Sunday, August 4, 2013
" I am Adam" Series 4
Hey guys, been a while you
last heard from Adam. He sends his regards to you all.In the previous episode,
there was panic. Mr Stephen was knocking while those children were about to get
down. You see, they were not expecting him back soon.Alas, he came home early
that day. If you missed the previous episodes, check the blog for that "I
am Adam Series" or click here for Series 1,2 and 3: i-am-adam-series-01, i-am-adam-series-2, i-am-adam-series-3-pandemonium.html
Adam was panicking. What
could he do? What would he do? This was his first time and he was praying
silently that this would be the last time.he could not imagine what he would go
through to explain how,why and what they were doing. Not to talk of where they
were doing . In fact as he stood there, he felt disheartening into the thin
air or turning into a superman and fly out from the balcony of the house. This
might as well be his last day on earth . He muttered to himself. He started
praying for forgiveness. Imagine, someone in primary school ? Guys, this world
has turned into something else. Mr stephen on the other hand was getting
impatient by the slow response of the door being opened. This was a man who had
the reputation of chasing away armed robbers who used to terrorize the neighborhood single handedly. There was a particular time when the robbers
came in and went to his apartment straight away. We were very young then to
remember vividly. But according to the tales from our uncles and aunts, he was
shot several times but the bullets didn't penetrate.he use his gun to kill two
out of the gang and the rest absconded. He was so feared in the neighbour hood
and here was Adam, trembling like a puppy. If only he knew.
When susan finally managed to
open the door, he gave her a SMOOTH SLAP while he thundered ' what took you so
long?' That was the kind of man he was. Barely patient for lapses and slow
motioned type of human beings. Adam was hidden quickly by Eva in the Closet,
half naked. As if the father knew what was happening, He dashed into his
daughter's room and scanned through the whole room. He noticed some irregularities
and demanded an explanation from Eva. She swiftly replied that they were
playing hide and seek and they didn't hear him knocking because
they were locked inside the room. He inquired who they were playing with and
they said ADAM. Where is he? he asked , before they could mutter any statement,
he dashed to the wardrobe/Closet and opened it with a BANG. There he was, poor
bastard! Panting heavily. You see Adam had a baby face and innocent looking one
for that matter but that didn't stop Mr stephen from looking at him with
contempt. He greeted Mr stephen and his response was cold.
Mr
stephen went back to his room and picked some stuffs and dashed out. You see,
all this while, Adam was still there panting like he just ran 100 metres. Mr
stephen dashed out . There was sigh of relief. Everything came back to normal.
One would have expected Adam to "BEN JOHNSON" , which he intended
doing, but as soon as he made way to go, Eva stopped him and begged him to let
them continue. He refused. But you see, if a woman knows a man's weak point,
he's finished. She worked her magic on him and he agreed to spend only 15
minutes. There is the saying that " A HEAD WHICH IS DESTINED TO RECEIVE A
KNOCK ON THE HEAD WILL GLADLY DO, EVEN IF ITS IN AN AEROPLANE, IT WILL BRING
OUT ITS HEAD AND GET KNOCKED".
So
they were at it again in the room as his lips an hers add several collisions and clashes. Her skin so silky, you want to wear it all. Eva liked being in
charge and she was tutoring Adam on what to do. She liked being on top riding
her prey like he was gonna get slaughtered.before long, she started moaning
" Kiss me she said, touch me right
there. Don't stop. Continue, do it like that! Uhnnn!!! Ooooh!!!! Am
cuming......those were the Exact words she managed to mutter". As she said
those word, the door flew open and Alas it was Mrs
Stephen.....................................watch out for the next episode after this long sigh............................................................................................................................................... alas, i would conclude it . no more suspense.
She was driving back home
when she met Mr Stephen on the way who narrated his ordeal to her. She wasn't
even supposed to be home by then. But because, she left their room open and
which Mr Stephen severally picked up quarrels with her, she was eager to get
home before him and she even skipped the other places she was meant to be.
Unknown to the children, she had silently opened the door with her own keys and
tip toed into their room. It was when Eve was about having an orgasm, she
busted the operation. She Screamed on sighting both of them. Went to her room,
brought a cane and started chasing them. Eva was begging seriously. But the mum
wouldn't bulge. She wet her back with water and started with the series of strokes.
Adam too wasn't speared but Eva's own was severe. Being that she was much older
and should have known better. After the flogging sessions, they served punishment
and later on were released. Adam avoided
their home throughout that year but he had already tasted the Forbidden FRUIT. , and
wanted more. End of this CHAPTER.
kindly scroll down to the bottom left corner on the page to drop your comments.
Watch out for the next CHAPTER (
secondary school escapades)
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