"My EX my nEXt -The Chronicles of Cindy"

Cindy is what you would call an Epitome of beauty, general edifice, total endowment and a lovely character to behold around you. Be you male or female. Asides an over average height which she didn’t have, she can be ascribed ‘The FULL PACKAGE’. Apart from the few "metres in longitude" (reminds me of geography), she makes sense, and "her head is there". While we were in Ibadan, the NYSC officials also took interest in her. They wanted her for keeps individually, so you could imagine the psychological and sometimes the verbal brawls between them all for a lady named CINDY. “CINDY OF LIFE”.


Sometime after leaving the compulsory youth service, I stumbled into Cindy this faithful day at KFC Ring Road Ibadan .for those of us who know Ibadan very well. By the way, it wasn’t far from where I stayed before. Sometimes when a bachelor can’t lay hands on food at home, he just strolls down or sometimes bike down to get the stomach satisfied. I had become a regular customer that almost all the attendants knew me. That was then though no more free money from government and besides as a corper then, ZENITH Bank gave my profile a boost. Back then, being the Very Good Guy I was and still am, I was contemplating sending my RESUME to her so we could date. We used to talk back on camp and after camp, but I was so busy with BANK work, CDS activities which I was privileged to be the P.R.O. and Ican Lessons.



I was always busy from Sunday to Sunday!!! She was flowing along with me back then but as I stated earlier, I barely had her time, which I admit on my part as a weakness. I always was procrastinating about seeing her. Have you ever wanted something, and you kept on postponing it?, that was my situation back then. Recently I bumped into her and we caught up on old times. After some hours, the talk started getting deeper. I inquired about her relationship all these while, she opened her seductive lips to speak, while I had so many bells ringing through my mind as I focused solely on them as she spoke. As I gazed through her face and into her eyes, I noticed she was trying to hold back tears. Swiftly, I offered her my handkerchief; usually I always was with an extra. Then she began narrating;



I met this guy in IB, he was working in the same place where I served and still working,...Go on I said. It’s complicated she replied, but you know I won’t give up on you; I will not stop till you tell me what you wanted to say. I insisted and she let it all out, it turned out that there was someone else who the guy was dating before they met. That’s the guy’s EX-Girlfriend. But she didn’t really know the full story because as at that time they were not dating, and “sparks been flying”, it was all I ever wanted, it turned out that after a while, she came back begging him. He was torn in between. But for the fact that they had come a long way, “HE LEFT ME FOR HIS EX”. Then I asked about him, and she said; he has been transferred to Abuja. I pressed further, where does the Ex stay? Abuja, she answered me with a gloomy look. I didn’t even know when I exclaimed ‘CHAI,(LOBATAN)’.


I would not want to bore you with the full story; it could take days to conclude. Having analyzed this scenario inductively and deductively with a clear head, I would like to state here that CINDY’s case is not that she wasn't good enough, or that she wasn't beautiful or any man’s dream, but she was/is a victim of circumstance. The dude she was with still had affection and was still emotionally attached to his Ex. That is why, when some people break-up; they could take a whole year sometimes more than that before they start seeing someone else, depending on their emotional stronghold. Some of us can bear the shock for some months and move on, while others cannot.



What is the essence of passing your own problems to another, or transfer your disappointment to someone else? If you are not over someone, do you necessarily need to use someone as spare? I can wager on my money that if the dude came back, she might accept him, after being used and dumped. Why? It is because she too isn’t over him, there is still an attachment. I have not given the idea of office dating a thought though, because of its disadvantages.
As it stands now, CINDY is probably lonely, disappointed, dejected and filled with rage. She probably would be asking herself, Why Me?
From little experience, the next dude coming along will bear the whole consequence of her last break-up. Call it transferred aggression, the innocent guy wouldn’t know, it is an action she might carry out without even knowing she is doing, thereby subjecting another person who in turns subjects someone else to physical and emotional torture. It then becomes a vicious circle, transferring from one person to another. We may now begin to ask ourselves when we find out that we are victims of such, alas someone somewhere, somehow invented it and it started infecting others like a disease and by the time we realize everyone has caught the virus, and it might even become a norm.


The dude who left her is not absolved of blame too. What was he thinking? See what James Bond has led someone too. Maybe if I was the one I might have acted differently or might have done likewise? You never can tell. May we not be used as spare keys or substitute.
The most recent is the coinage of the term "Side-chic" more like a stand-by generating set, once the "Original" flops, a switch over o the next occurs. Well that's for the guys, ladies too have their own terminologies, I won't mind you educating me and other readers here.
As for me, it is obvious that "CINDY WAS ONLY KEEPING THAT DUDE BUSY" till the time was right to re-unite with 'the original idea'
Side-chic, Back-up plan, Substitute, Alternative, Generator, Plan B, C...Z, and every other terminologies used to describe this heart-chattering game. Considering Cindy's story, and many others (maybe personal experiences even) **Deep Sigh**

What do you think?
Where does Cindy, or any other victim like her, and even you and i, go from here?
We've got to be candid in our views.

N.B - THE NAME CINDY IS FICTIONAL. THE STORY IS NON-FICTION.

'All Men Are dogs' .!!!!

Kindly pardon the slanderous statement. It has never been my intention to degrade MEN to as low as comparing them to Dogs. After all, am a man the last time I checked. Taking a cue from Tina, she said and also stood her ground that 'all men are dogs'. What would have made her utter such statement? Events unfolding suggested that she was hurt beyond her limits i assumed, beyond her comprehension.



 I met henry some months back when he came on an official assignment at our office. He had this look on his face like an Angel as he made inquiries from the receptionist. His voice wasn’t that deep; it was like that of Michael Jackson!!! It made me speechless.



As I made way towards the dispenser to get a cup of water, I realized that the she could not adequately give this angelic face what he needed. Swiftly, I voluntarily stepped in and I was able to attend to him and he was satisfied with the response he got from me. When he was about leaving, he requested for my number which I refused blatantly as I became more official. He sensed that i would not bulge to his request and as that time, a ping came in from my black berry, being a smart guy; he opted for my pin which I gladly gave. After all, I could decide not to accept or could delete him at a later date, but none of this was to happen.



Henry was very funny and could make you laugh your heart out. We chatted regularly and I didn’t even know when I threw caution to the wind and gave him my number, what else could a woman ask for from a man if not happiness? When we are together, I always laughed to the point that I forgot the harsh economic conditions of the country, his arms were a safe haven where there was never a need to worry. Before I could say jack, we were already seeing each other (DATING).



I was at work on a faithfully day when his call came in and he said “caramel”, his pet name for me after some months of constant dating that he was heading home from an assignment he had embarked upon to Abeokuta at work. Usually I would head to his place at night and sometimes pass the night there, but I was so anxious to see him because he had been away for awhile that I closed early that sad day and rushed to his place before closure of work.



As I got to his compound, I sensed a negative atmosphere, something was just not right, even his neighbors who usually didn’t greet me, greeted me scornfully but I shrugged it off. I went on to his apartment only to hear moaning and groaning. At first, I felt he was up to his pornographic movies again and I shook my head for him. But as I got closer to the window, I saw an opening, alas; henry was on another woman with passion and energy to the extent that their bodies were vibrating. I felt cold and also heated up at the same time, I had goose pimples. I was stricken, shocked and was in wonderland. I lost my memory for a while; I thought I was in a movie theatre. I didn’t know how I had the courage to sit down on the floor and I couldn’t cry out but deep inside I was bleeding.



He and the lady came out after they were done. He saw me outside and he was shocked, astonished and short of words. He went on to see the lady off. Imagine, he still had the guts to that extent. He came back and begged me to the point of confusion. I was crying my heart out at this point. Such a disgusting fellow, disrespectful and no regard for me I said to myself yet, this was a guy I satisfied his sexual urge or so I thought. I am from Akwa Ibom, and I know how to pamper and when it comes to room matters, I am a machine she said. I left him and told him never to call me again. He still keeps calling, but since that faithful day, I have come to the conclusion that “ALL MEN ARE DOGS”.

'All Men Are Dogs'

"ALL MEN ARE DOGS"
Kindly pardon the slanderous statement. It has never been my intention to degrade MEN to as low as comparing them to Dogs. After all, am a man the last time I checked. Taking a cue from Tina, she said and also stood her ground that 'all men are dogs'. What would have made her utter such statement? Events unfolding suggested that she was hurt beyond her limits i assumed, beyond her comprehension.



 I met henry some months back when he came on an official assignment at our office. He had this look on his face like an Angel as he made inquiries from the receptionist. His voice wasn’t that deep; it was like that of Michael Jackson!!! It made me speechless.



As I made way towards the dispenser to get a cup of water, I realized that the she could not adequately give this angelic face what he needed. Swiftly, I voluntarily stepped in and I was able to attend to him and he was satisfied with the response he got from me. When he was about leaving, he requested for my number which I refused blatantly as I became more official. He sensed that i would not bulge to his request and as that time, a ping came in from my black berry, being a smart guy; he opted for my pin which I gladly gave. After all, I could decide not to accept or could delete him at a later date, but none of this was to happen.



Henry was very funny and could make you laugh your heart out. We chatted regularly and I didn’t even know when I threw caution to the wind and gave him my number, what else could a woman ask for from a man if not happiness? When we are together, I always laughed to the point that I forgot the harsh economic conditions of the country, his arms were a safe haven where there was never a need to worry. Before I could say jack, we were already seeing each other (DATING).



I was at work on a faithfully day when his call came in and he said “caramel”, his pet name for me after some months of constant dating that he was heading home from an assignment he had embarked upon to Abeokuta at work. Usually I would head to his place at night and sometimes pass the night there, but I was so anxious to see him because he had been away for awhile that I closed early that sad day and rushed to his place before closure of work.



As I got to his compound, I sensed a negative atmosphere, something was just not right, even his neighbors who usually didn’t greet me, greeted me scornfully but I shrugged it off. I went on to his apartment only to hear moaning and groaning. At first, I felt he was up to his pornographic movies again and I shook my head for him. But as I got closer to the window, I saw an opening, alas; henry was on another woman with passion and energy to the extent that their bodies were vibrating. I felt cold and also heated up at the same time, I had goose pimples. I was stricken, shocked and was in wonderland. I lost my memory for a while; I thought I was in a movie theatre. I didn’t know how I had the courage to sit down on the floor and I couldn’t cry out but deep inside I was bleeding.



He and the lady came out after they were done. He saw me outside and he was shocked, astonished and short of words. He went on to see the lady off. Imagine, he still had the guts to that extent. He came back and begged me to the point of confusion. I was crying my heart out at this point. Such a disgusting fellow, disrespectful and no regard for me I said to myself yet, this was a guy I satisfied his sexual urge or so I thought. I am from Akwa Ibom, and I know how to pamper and when it comes to room matters, I am a machine she said. I left him and told him never to call me again. He still keeps calling, but since that faithful day, I have come to the conclusion that “ALL MEN ARE DOGS”.