Sunday, March 17, 2013

"Whom Do I Abort?" (Abortion Saga)



A young female friend of mine met a guy 18 months back; they decided getting serious 9 months ago notwithstanding the age difference of 15 years and their constant disagreements over trivial issues. After some months, the babe met another guy at the cinemas, tall, handsome, averagely built, good sense of humour, focused and career oriented, he was what you could call “SENT FROM HEAVEN”. The look in his eyes alone could make a woman quiver and the tone in his voice made her tremble with affection. He was a perfect gentleman. Every woman’s dream. Yet he was all alone at the cinemas.

Then she quickly recalled back her senses as she was lost fantasizing about so many things. As fate would have it the guy made a pass at her and she couldn’t help but respond to his advances. They got talking even up till the end of the movie which they saw together.

He was so attentive, calm and very sensitive to her plight. The good thing was that, he was a lot younger and seemed so perfect for her. Things happened so fast, they started seeing and the babe along the line (opened up about her other relationship) but refused talking about it because she wanted to keep the seemingly “perfect guy” probably with the hope that the other serious dude would naturally fizzle out with time. The “perfect guy” was very patient with her. After all, she willingly admitted being in another affair without much probing. The new guy played down on it, waved a white flag, Though, he refused getting serious with her, they still kept seeing each other and could barely do without one another in a day.

Alas, the unexpected happened. The result of unprotected sex “PREGNANCY”. She took in for the so called “IMPERFECT GUY”, the one she wanted to discard. She decided to admit as usual to the “THE PERFECT GUY” that she was pregnant and the pregnancy wasn’t his, but with the request that he permitted her to abort the pregnancy. Complicated right?

The “imperfect guy” wants her to keep the pregnancy and he is even ready to marry her in weeks to come. She disclosed all these to the “PERFECT GUY”. The perfect guy on his own part said he wanted things serious all along but because of her relationship with the other guy. He decided to take things slower and stated that he also wants to marry her too but on the condition she had an abortion. The lady seems to be in a dilemma as both men are really serious.

Looking at this peculiar scenario from another angle objectively, let me state that, I have never been in support of abortion as I consider it a crime. Why would you want to kill what you can’t create? After all she knew all along that unprotected sex could lead to pregnancy. The other guy who owns the pregnancy ought to have sensed or know that the lady does not intend to spend her life with him, if he wants a baby and she doesn’t and for the fact that he has proposed marriage. If she goes ahead to abort the baby, what is the guarantee that the other perfect guy would marry her? I am trying to put myself in the perfect guy’s shoes and to imagine my actions. I would hands off the lady to let her decide what to do with the pregnancy after all its her life, I would not want to put myself in a situation where she would point fingers at me in the nearest future that I made her do what she did not want to do. What happens if after the abortion the womb is damaged? What happens after our marriage she cannot give birth? Will I be ready to face all these with her? The situation is dicey and we could go on and on debating about this. Then I ask myself, But who am I to start giving lessons on it. After all, I have never been in that situation before right? So many arguments and objections from left and right. But I decided to share this with you all so that we could put heads together, reason and proffer solutions. What are your thoughts on this? Urgent help is needed as your advices will go along way (via your comments).
WHAT WILL YOU DO? WHAT IS YOUR ADVICE FOR HER? IF YOU WERE ANY OF THE 3? WHAT WILL YOU DO?
KINDLY DROP YOUR OPINIONS BELOW. THANK YOU.

12 comments:

Lady Mae said...

As hard as it is to have a child out of wedlock I'd keep the baby. I don't have to marry the older guy cos of it. If I'm not so in love with him to spend d rest of my life with him I don't av to marry him for the baby's sake. As for the *perferct man*, he is so imperfect! *eyes rolling* cos in d future he'd make d lady's life hell! In fact I wld bet that he won't marry her. Sad but that's the truth! *straight face*

Unknown said...

Well..for you to be resolute. You must have thought it through! And smile a little ..its not the end of the world @ *straight face*

Mz_Greyz said...

1st, y did she continue the relationship wit the "imperfect" guy, if she knew she had found the perfect guy for her. 2ndly, i think the so called "perfect" guy isn't perfect after all cos if he really wants to be with her, he would have asked that she discontinue the relationship with the "imperfect" guy, before the pregnancy ish came up.
In ma own opinion, i would advice she keeps the baby...the imperfect guy is not even denying responsibility for the child! so y abort it. If the perfect guy truly and really cares and want to be with her, let him accept the child as his, and let them move on. If not let her accept the proposal of the father of the child. shikena!

Unknown said...

Mz Greyz..thanks.. Like you said maybe the 'Perfect guy' isn't perfect! But let's not forget that in the society of ours, its not far fetched for a woman to have more than 1 affair! Some have up to three , and they give reasons for their actions.. Your advice is highly appreciated. Thank you

The Wordsmith said...

I remember D'band and Ikechukwu do a song "Critical". Yeah, that's the theme song for this scenario. Its a tough one, maybe 'cos of our social context (Africa).
Firstly, aborting that baby isn't the solution to this problem, but truly defining who's perfect and who's not is the issue here. Fine, she's tagged one as perfect, but as this story sounds, it seems someone is wearing the wrong tags.
Have your baby girl, DON'T YOU ABORT! Haven said that, I think your perfect guy aint looking the perfect one for you afterall. If he so loves you, he'll love you even with a child (Moreso, the owner is dying to father his baby, it shouldn't be a burden on "Mr Perfect")

Unknown said...

You just Hit the nail on the head! Master Akogun...the master

larmie dee said...

I wouldn't advice her to abort d baby ,she doesn't av to marry d imperfect guy cos she is carrying his baby ,n if d perfect guy loved her so much he wld still marry her notwithstanding ,n if she goes for an abortion n she dies or damages her womb 'her own don be aka she is on her own '.cos none of d guys wld agree to marry her n she wld loose 2 ways ,So she has 2 options : marry d imperfect guy n keep d baby or keep d baby n be on her own ,if d perfect guy decides to stay all well n good.the advantages of keeping d baby are more than d advantages of aborting it .shikenaa

Unknown said...

Lamide has spoken words of wisdom. Insightful ..thanks

Anonymous said...

Ion see waris causing any form of complications here. Marry the father of ur bundle of Joy since his very much ready to settle down...even though u claim u dnt love him enough... My dearest sis when it comes to marriage LOVE aint just enough swts.

oderinde-Mike adedeji said...

The perfect guy is using d lady, if not he wud av told her to end d other relationship.

oderinde-mike adedeji said...

D lady too has a problem, why sleep wit someone u no longer interested in. Think she wants it all, or there's something special about d imperfect guy that tilts d scae to his side, maybe he's good wit words, in bed, or his finance are secured and he bears some of her burden, or he's romantic or like king David. Knows when to get onhis kneels to apologise. Then she may just be greedy, wanting it all ( girls way ) and like Oliver twist she ended up having more.

Unknown said...

Maybe its Greed!! Maybe she's confused or lk u said 'Think she wants it all'thanks bro