"Getting Married in my country Part 3" Inter-Tribal WAR.

"Next Year , I would Love to Marry, So before Then, I want to Thoroughly Party." I sang this song by 2face Last year . I am singing it this year again.

Hmmm, where do I start from? The inter-tribal wars in marriages in my country is alarming and unbelievable considering the fact that some of our parents are "EDUCATED". So are we to conclude that school didn't pass through them? Or they just refused to cut us some slack? Or they do all they do for selfish reasons? Who knows the heart of Man?
I have made myself clear to my folks that I am not necessarily going to marry from my tribe. Yes! I might, depends on where my heart leads to, be it Edo,Igbo, Hausa, fulani, Jamaican,Indian, American,British, South African, one thing is for sure, my parents won't choose for me. Now let's go straight into the matter.

My friend Chi Chi (Not real name) and I were discussing innocently after she used my picture as her Dp on her bbm. So a friend of hers who happens to be an Igbo girl said I looked cool, I blushed and was interested in knowing that friend INNOCENTLY. She told me her friend wasn't looking for a boyfriend that she was looking for a husband. In my mind , I was like "LOBATAN" (meaning it is finished). First, is it not a boyfriend that would become a Fiance , and then a husband, I asked? Chi Chi still kept saying if I was sure that I should seek my parent's consent before starting up because am YORUBA. I could not believe what I was hearing . So my response was what brought about her opening up some issues to me and granting me permission to put them into a piece on this blog.

Chi said she was in a delima. Her parents who are Igbo don't want her to marry a YORUBA guy she has been dating for 8 (Eight) YEARS!!!!!!!. Yes , Eight Solid Years of Building. Read her Lamentations;
"He wants to do introduction but my parents keep saying I should better ask him not to come. Because they don't want inter-tribal marriage. Am so confused, they said they won't bless the marriage. Because I have been having Igbo Suitors, and very rich ones at that, but I am not after the money, I want peace, love and understanding . So they are asking me why I can't go for them. They knew next to nothing about my YORUBA boyfriend because we never brought our boyfriends home. My parents are so strict about that. So it was last year wen two serious suitors came and I told them I have someone already,that they got the shocker. They were in disbelief , especially my dad, the shock on his face was boldly written. My sisters, cousins and all members knew him, I mean my Yoruba boyfriend. Mom somehow knew him but she gave it no thought I would insist on marrying him. Whenever I remember all this, I cry because am scared of the future without my boyfriend of eight years. Now a certain igbo guy I tried to get on with wants to marry me, but he's extremely rigid and strong headed(hope the Guys are reading? Be Flexible). He always want things done his way. He has three kids From two different ladies And he doesn't want to marry them. One white lady and one Nigerian lady. For me to tell you all this now is because am beginning to get over it. Though my boyfriend doesn't know there ïs some Igbo guy on my case now, even though I told him about all the suitors.

The igbo guy with three kids has lots of female friends around him(Guys reduce female friends. Am also guilty here). For Me, I don't like competition and I don't care about his money because I fend for myself. He showed me the messages of those that say they want to marry him. But it didn't sway me. See what women would do for money. I must confess, I was beginning to like him but he's too full of himself and he's so proud. I had a rethink . I have prayed and fasted. I even went as far as putting their names to God and insert their names in my bible. I need a sign from GOD. Everyday I pray "Dear Lord hear me out, listen to my heart and answer my prayers."
Its alright Chi, there must be a way around all this (I replied to her, in a bid to bring her to calm as we closed discussion for the day).
Reviewing Chi's story and placing it side by side with others I've heard of, what readily comes to mind is the question; "What exactly is/are the fear of our parents in inter-tribal marrige?" Does any one know, has anyone been told? For the sake of those whose parents have given no reason (tenable or flimpsy), let someone share!

To think its a battle against inter-tribal marriage alone, is to be myopic. There is a even fiercer battle, a bigger hurdle to crosss in the inter-state version of this. It sounds funny does it not? To think that even people from the same tribes still have restrictions on which state to or not to marry from.
Like the DNA matching of A-T, G-C (appologies to my non-biological science oriented readers), there seem to be an already existing template our parents encourage or in most cases compel us to follow.
Perhaps you've heard talks like; An Ondo vs Ijebu marriage is never successful, Oyo vs Ilorin, Ibadan vs Ekiti, bla bla bla....!
I speak citing examples from the South-Western Nigeria, but this malaise continues to exist in other parts of the country too (Feel free to drop the ones you know or have heard of, as comments after this piece).

Oh, I don't want to go into the reasons behind all these 'Matches', they are so funny, so superficial, as funny as saying; Ladies from.......don't stay in their husband's house, Guys from ...... are so fettish, their wives and kids are often preys, Ladies from .......end up running away with their kids, leaving their husbands in the blue, While guys from ........are so promiscuos they'll always have a chain of concubines.
And am like; What!!! Every tribe seems to have a clause, now Where do we marry from?????
Part 4 drops soon .....
Please kindly drop your advise/warning/observation/comment

Contributions : -TW™, Chichi and PrinceYemimike