Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Why Do Men cHEat? by Azeezat


It’s a “MAN’S” World…….……Fact or Fiction?
Why do men cheat? Is it because it is deeply embedded in their nature? I write because I have come to observe that in our society (Nigeria) and in places all over the world, the “Male” gender does a lot and gets away with it, with reference to their relationship or relationships with “Women”. Men are often seen and known for being with more than one woman, whether married, engaged or in a relationship. Although, in some cases, some men are allowed to marry or have more than one woman as companion because of their religion or due to traditional ethics or protocol. Other than these reasons, God often expects utmost sincerity and faithfulness from us when we find ourselves in a relationship or in marriage to our partner.

We all know in the case of most “men” this is far from the truth. Men, guys, dudes, boys, the male gender in general gets busy frolicking with other girls, ladies, women whilst in a serious relationship or marriage just for fun. Even in committing this unfaithful atrocity, they do not wish for any man to lay a finger on their wife or the lady they are madly in love with and intend to spend the rest of their life with. This brings me to ask “Would you call this selfish of men or would you say it’s their Legal Right?” If your answer is “Yes” to the formal, I ask you, do men do this because they believe they can get away with cheating or frolicking just because they are “men”? If your answer remains “Yes” to the latter, I ask you again, how is right for them to say their wife is untouchable to any man but them, yet, it is right for them to touch that of another and in the process cheat on their wife and expect their wife to be one hundred percent faithful to them. “Karma they say is a Big B****”


In most cases, men are known to end their relationships or marriage the moment they find out their wife, girlfriend or fiancée is cheating or has cheated on them, regardless of how many times they have cheated on her. To a man it does not count that he has cheated countless number of times. In fact, cheating only starts to count when his spouse does this. Men are known to hardly forgive and continue such relationships this happens. I asked Tunde Omotosho, a childhood friend of mine why men hardly forgive in this case and he said “It’s an ego thing” it’s like she’s saying I can’t satisfy her enough, or I am not good enough in terms of TLC (Tender Love and Care) so she has to go get it elsewhere and it means she does not love me enough to remain faithful. Then I asked him “If ego is what is involved, don’t you feel you’ve bruised hers when u cheated or does disrespecting of ego only counts when it’s a man that’s the victim? He just gave me a funny look……lolls.


 In other cases, some men react angrily and even become violent towards the woman or towards the furniture’s and fittings at home. Some men even break down in tears or lose their sanity for a while; in fact, it kills some part of their libido or enthusiasm to carry out their usual daily activities. When I asked another friend of mine Isaac Jonah, why men hardly forgive and react same and he said to me “it’s just the way we are wired up?” Then I asked him “Are you saying men are wired up to cheat but not wired up to forgive when their spouse does same?” To me it sounds like saying Men cheating or frolicking is not a crime when men commit it but when it is their woman or companion then it is wrong and an abomination or unforgiveable to them and the society at large. Which brings me to ask, what makes it seem right for a man and wrong for a woman? What happened to the saying “Want for your partner what you want for yourself” Can someone tell me WHY MEN CHEAT? Do share your views……………… Azizat Usman.

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

I believe it's in men's nature to cheat,as the saying goes"men are polygamous in nature",it does not mean that there aren't men who actually discipline themselves to do the right thing.Besides,we should not generalise,,,we just gotta dig deep to find the good ones.

Wale Ayeni said...

Men cheat because the society in generalencourages them to do so. Its not fair bt women encourage most men to cheat. Imagine a married man evidenced by a ring on his finger trying to woo a lady. The lady still accepts his insidious proposition. Isn't that enof encouragement even from the women fold? The truth of the matter is, there is little or not punishment given to a man who cheats by society. But when a woman as much as smiles at another man her reputation, same society labels her many unsavoury names. Its not fair bt its a mans world.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha...Feminist!
its not man, its in all animals.
It all bores down to nature and the acts of mankind to alter it.
Male: Strong, indifferent, territorial, Domineering & leads.
Females: Fragile, Compassionate, Possessive, Submissive & follows.

Ask yourself, why/how do these men get women to cheat on their wives with?...Also, is it only men that cheat? Or a woman that follows a married man is doing what?

On a broader view, are you aware that the population of females to males is more than 6:1. I put it to you that women are the answer to your question.

J___Y

Anonymous said...

It is a known fact that men cheats on there wives (girl friends) and are so self-absorbed that when the later does so, she'll be called a "hole" but when he does same he terms himself a PLAYER.

Cheating is behaving in a dishonest way in order to get what you want (satisfaction). Men like what they like (satisfaction) so also do the opposite sex. Cheating comes in most at times when the man can't get this from his partner.

But let's not put this on all men. Not all men (like me :-) ) cheats. Some of us derive our satisfactions in doing other things.

Less I forget, Azizat, men don't cheat alone, they cheat with other ladies be it married, single or in a relationship.
Cheating is embedded in human.

The Wordsmith said...

*Clears Throat*
It takes two to tango,
More than anything, in this game,
It takes 2-Opposing teams(gender) to play.
Dealing with issues from the root in my own case, I'll say the genesis of cheating is "Management".
Ladies n Gents, why settle for someone you know your heart, body n soul isn't satisfied with?
Pls note: Until the day we find satisfaction, we won't stop seeking it (guys n ladies alike).
The ONLY cure to cheating is SATISFACTION. And sadly, it often can't be produced by oneself, its gotten.
Discipline!!! I believe many will call out for in matters like this, but when n where we choose to call for it would be another matter. If discipline will work, it must be called upon before the start of the relationship (Be disciplined enough not to settle for 'less').
You love ladies with real big butts but there you are heading into marriage/serious relationship with a 28yr old lady (all hope's gone) whose butt is as flat as a chinese'. Dude, you'll soon be out to get the bigg butts you love, hence cheating sets in!
Can we ever get satisfied? Another question am sure will follow the above. Yes we can! Satisfaction is a decision. Its when you fail to take a firm one that 'management' comes in.
We are better off single than cheats believe me. Cheats are........
OMG! I talk n write too long!(Sorry abt your time).
I'll conclude here, submitting that the question in question should be asked with a better balance as; WHY DOES MAN CHEAT?
NB: My views are open to scrutiny too, as they may not be perfect.
Its The Wordsmith™.

Cashfleu said...

Why can a soldier beat a civilian and a civilian cannot beat his own back? When you answer this, you have answered d kweshun

Unknown said...

Indeed We Shouldn't Generalise

Unknown said...

Hmmmm! A man's world but The women pull the Strings of the Men behind the curtains ...... They control us indirectly, a smart woman will mostly have her ways with men! But like you rightly said, Women encourage Men to cHEat! The HE in cHEat is emphasized to get the message across.

ViVi said...

I don't think men cheat because they are wired to do so or because its just their nature. I think men cheat(referngtothenigeriansystem) because they believe they are entitled to it and they can easily get away with it...they give themselves the idea that they are wired to be that way,an excuse I think we ladies are done hearing,so you might tend to feel remorse and easily forgive their wrong doing.
Ask a nigerian man 'are women wired to love just one man'...we all knw the answer to that now don't we.lol!little do they knw.We r not wired to love just one man,WE 'CHOOSE' TO DO SO.Men should try that sometimes.
Its just a male dominance I-can-do-as-I-want-and-as-I-like-and-u-woman-u-cant-do-same thing.
Oooopppsssieee!this my comment long o.

Unknown said...

Mr cashfleu.....LOL..this is your candid reason??? Seriously??? Lol...

Unknown said...

So your point is because women are More? Hmmmmn! The view though...... Women are the answer you said? A man can answer this Question better I feel.......

Unknown said...

Women are not Wired to LOVE one MAN? Vivian LOL......that's another TOPIC for Another Day.... This Debate is Getting Interesting...

Unknown said...

Not all men..truely..you are advertising yourself abi? That you are not among???..lol you should pay for advert space.

NUHU said...

Fact it not just men ppl cheat because d other party is failing or they r in d relationship for the wrong reasons

Unknown said...

ON POINT

Anonymous said...

Day and night makes the world go round so does sunshine and rain and the same thing also applies to men and women so I strongly disagree with all of u about staging men as the culprit cos women also cheat very welll also. Permit me to stop here and jst say the world needs to rotate with activities.

Vivi said...

Ofcourse we also cheat.but most times we choose not to that's y I said women are not wired to love one man.but men will tell u its their nature when they knw its truely about choice.
Well

Anonymous said...

Most men cheat not because they want to buh becos dey have to...its in their nature.

Yinka said...

Men cheat cos they've bin giraffing since primary school:>

Unknown said...

Yea..Nuhu...well said ! Most of us are in it for the wrong Reasons

Unknown said...

Since primary??? Lool...yinka are you telling me women didn't Giraffe too??? Well you are a Guy so your statement is an Admission ..lol

Unknown said...

*We have to*??? That's a profound statement.....where is your fact? Are you sure we have to? How can we not want to ? Yet we have to because of nature? I don't agree on this...just my opinion though ...lol

Anonymous said...

@adeyemi: I made dat statement bcos 90 percent of d men that cheat hav no reason wat so ever for doin it.. They luv their wives/gf,their children r all grown up n succesful,is it satisfaction? dat 1 dey,so wat else r we tlkin abt.No offense buh I tink we shud hav more men who hav d fear of d Lord until den*Men r who dey r(cheat)n always will be.

Unknown said...

Anonymous........I would have preferred if I could address you by your name! But as it is hidden..."NOT ALL MEN ARE CHEATS"....IF We say Men are? It means my father,your father, your brother, my brother are all Guilty as Alleged? If you Insist ....lol

Anonymous said...

Hhmn.,Yemi this is a very nice one.
I want to start by saying a lot of women also cheat even married women.
Men and women cheat for different reasons ranging from financial reasons, lack of TLC, payback and so on.
Women cheat secretly and with caution while men does openly and neglicently without any caution. It takes the holy spirit and deep satisfaction and contentment not to cheat because in the actual one will always find another person to be more attracted to.